I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
