pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i drank out of a bidet.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize