Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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