Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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