Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Two words: blizzard sex
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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