i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
