I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
