I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
