Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
