i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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