our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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