Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
