I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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