Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
