Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
