Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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