The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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