I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
