He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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