I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it was like eating out sand paper
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize