i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize