69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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