White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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