Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
