they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
