I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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