He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
