Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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