Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Randomize
