are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
