When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
