Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This house was built for laser tag.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
