Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
