yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
