My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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