that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
