So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize