You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
