i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
