Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
