and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
