Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you will always have a special place in my vag
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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