I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
