Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
