That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
