My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
