Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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