he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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