Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My balls are so social today.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
