dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
