I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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