I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
