In the future we'll all be gay
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
