This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
