so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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