OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
