Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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