Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
