what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
