Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
