How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize