Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
