It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I did not marry a roomba.
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